In relationships, we’re often told how important it is to give – our time, attention, support, and care. But far less attention is given to the other half of connection: receiving.
For many, receiving love, care, or emotional support feels uncomfortable, unfamiliar, or even threatening. But learning how to receive is just as vital as knowing how to give – especially in intimate relationships.
The Cultural Bias Toward Giving
In our fast-paced, individualistic society, giving is often praised while receiving is overlooked. We’re taught to strive, achieve, and offer, but rarely are we taught how to accept help, love, or even kindness.
Receiving is sometimes mistaken for neediness, weakness, or dependency. As a result, many of us feel guilty, undeserving, or suspicious when others try to show us care.
What Makes Receiving So Difficult?
There are many reasons why receiving doesn’t come naturally for some people:
1. Resentment Blocks Recognition
If you’re caught in a loop of complaint or disappointment, it can be hard to even notice the small ways others are trying to connect or support you.
2. You Feel Undeserving
If you carry a sense of shame or low self-worth, you might unconsciously push away acts of love or generosity, believing you’re not “enough” to receive them.
3. What You’re Given Isn’t What You Want
When the support offered doesn’t match what you hoped for, you might reject it -missing the intent behind the effort.
4. Fear of Vulnerability
Receiving requires you to be open, present, and emotionally available. For some, especially those with a history of emotional wounds, this feels too risky.
Why Receiving Matters in Relationships
Receiving is not passive – it’s an active, relational process. It invites connection, softens defensive patterns, and builds emotional intimacy.
When we receive with presence and appreciation, we validate the giver’s intention and nourish the relationship.
How Therapy Can Help You Learn to Receive
If you notice yourself deflecting care or feeling uneasy with affection, therapy can help you:
- Recognize your patterns and where they come from
- Understand your emotional responses in relationships
- Cultivate self-worth and internal permission to receive
- Open up to connection without fear or guilt
Final Thoughts
Being able to receive love and care isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a deep act of courage. When we allow ourselves to receive, we say yes to connection, to intimacy, and to being seen.
At Golden Leaf Therapy in Calgary, I work with individuals and couples to explore these dynamics gently and honestly. You don’t have to figure it out alone.
If you are ready, we can help
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Golden Leaf Therapy provides individual counselling and couples therapy in Calgary. In-person sessions are available in NW Calgary, and online therapy available across Alberta and beyond.